Is the Search still in Progress?
After that, it was often easier for me to get distracted.
It was not particularly bad when I was moving my body.
From my seat at the breakfast table, I would look at the Margraves couple and their complete air of friendliness, Alan’s exasperated face, Reggie’s expression as he looked on and laughed. It allowed me to feel the warmth of ordinary days, and because of that I was able to forget the things I was ‘supposed to think about.’
But even when I did try to look up magic in the books, the contents would not stay in my head. I would keep remembering it. Remember about that would-be magician, crumbling into sand. I thought about this same thing happening to me and I would became too scared to search any further. And so my attention tends to go after things that give me a real sense of living a peaceful, everyday life.
But then again, I also think.
I was able to escape a fate that should have been mine, perhaps this castle’s fate of being under attack will also alter. Maybe Reggie would not die.
Furthermore, was it not possible that this world had in fact, no connection at all with the game? Such dreamlike thoughts would enter my head, and I would grind my fists with hopelessness.
“I do understand…”
Without thinking, the words spilled out of my mouth.
Things did not go so smoothly as that. I knew ‘what would happen next,’ and so I was able to flee. But everyone else, they have no way of knowing what will happen to themselves next.
This world, it was meant to be a place where people scramble in the dark, trying to move forward.
And that is why I think, think that I must do something as the one who knows more. But it is there that my heart stops me in my tracks.
I don’t want to die. I’m scared. It says.
“Kiara, are you unwell?”
Reggie asks me, and I suddenly return to myself.
“Oh, sorry. I suppose I was daydreaming. I’m so sorry that I’ve bothered you with this searching business.”
“There is no need to apologize. Just… Recently you look like you’ve been drowning in your thoughts. It’s because you saw that magician die, isn’t it?”
His words startled me.
But at the same time, I knew that I had been closing up in a much too apparent way, I hated myself for that. I just wanted to hide the true reason from him. I scrambled for words.
“Um… Well, you know, seeing someone turn into sand like that, it would give you quite a shock.”
I told him that I was merely shocked at the dying look of the magician.
It was not at all strange for a girl of my age to be scared at that sight. It had truly appeared that it was the result of a deal with the devil.
“Really? I feel like you are thinking about it too deeply for it to be just that…really.”
Huh? Really, had he noticed it then?
I sat nervously after his reply, but he quietly continued.
“Did he perhaps resemble an acquaintance? Was that the reason you were especially shocked by it?”
Inside, I just wanted to let out a huge sigh.
…Reggie’s wild pitch had saved me.
But, it was true in a way.
That the dead magician resembled someone that I knew. Because it was me in two years time.
Thinking of it like that, Reggie was quite sharp.
I returned a vague, ‘That might have been it…’ in order to mislead him, and I proceeded to stare downwards. I just knew that he would see through my lie if he saw my face.
Instead, his fingers came under my chin.
What, wait, Reggie is touching me!? As I was scrambling, he lifted my face towards his.
Reggie had at some point come very close to me. He laid one hand on the desk and the other cupped my chin.
The candlelight flickered as it illuminated the room. I could not take my eyes off of Reggie’s face.
I could not even move my body an inch.
What is this! This very romantic situation! And Reggie, he accomplished this so smoothly! Furthermore, he does it with a familiarly, like he’s done this before, thinking about all of this is really confusing me!
Even in my past life, these kinds of bitter-sweet situations were uncharted territory for me. This was the first contact.
And so I had absolutely no idea of what to do or what to say.
I did not know, but Reggie’s fingers sent a tingling sensation through me, and I could feel my face burning hot.
But perhaps that was a good thing, as it seemed to have erased Reggie’s suspicions.
“Well, you have some color in you again.”
He says as his hand lets go of my chin.
While I was relieved, Reggie only continued.
“But it seems that you are not very enthusiastic about the search now, maybe you need a change of pace? We should go outside. As you do not go out with the Margravine, you probably don’t leave the castle much at all, do you?”
He wasn’t wrong.
Ever since I had come to Margrave Everal’s castle, my attention had been solely directed at the research of magic. I would not even go out in the yard unless my work called for it.
Indeed, I was starting to think that days without sun was a detriment to both my body and spirit.
Reggie took my hand after I nodded, and he proceeded to lead me out of the library.