“I’m sorry. It must be terrible to have to watch the results of my personal actions.”
“Hey… Do you really believe… You can never be forgiven if you do something bad?”
“Fi?”
“If you do something bad…are you always bad…forever…”
It was then that Salia understood the meaning of what she had done.
For ordinary mortals, you died and that was the end. But for gods, there was no end aside from taking your own life. And so without being able to die, you would have to live in regret for all eternity.
No redemption, forgiveness or even punishment.
This was the harshest result for anyone who truly wanted to atone.
She could not take back the words that she said. Canila was bound to her spot. The young dragon and the boy stood, as if burdened by the weight of the silence.
“Indeed.”
The dragon god muttered.
“There is no forgiveness. Not in this world without compassion.”
He said, thrusting the truth to everyone who was there. But then his voice changed to something more gentle.
“That being said, while you cannot be forgiven, everyone has the ability to forgive.”
‘Forgive?’
“Of course, it is not possible if you are already dead. At the very least, if the person is still alive, they can forgive someone for their mistakes.”
The dragon said with closed eyes. As he sat on the stone floor of the god seat, he had all of the authority that befitted the god of dragons.
“It is because we often make mistakes and do wrong, that we strive to forgive others instead of blaming them. That is the form of salvation that we were given, I suppose.”
“Forgive someone’s sins…”
“Forgiveness is something given and received. Just because you can’t receive it when you wish for it, it does not mean you should withhold it either.”
Surely there was no real forgiveness, in the truest sense. Emotions could not be traded like items. Even if someone said they forgave someone, if they did not mean it, then it was not true forgiveness.
Still…
“Canila.”
It was strange. But Salia suddenly wanted to pray.
“I didn’t want you to vanish.”
Not to anyone. But to something.
“There is anger and hatred in my heart. Still, I didn’t want to lose the memories of the time we spent together. It was for that selfish reason, that I did not allow you to end yourself.”
“Salia…”
And then she remembered.
She had been taught that when exchanging trust, one must do so with utmost sincerity.
“To be honest, I suspected you. That you had broken the barrier. But I was afraid of knowing the truth. And yet, by claiming that I would not judge your sins, I condemned you outright.”
No one could blame anyone. Because everyone made mistakes.
And there was a cowardly evil in this world. Those who knew of their mistakes, but only cared about profit and their own safety.
Perhaps forgiveness in such a world was just a sham.
But even so…
“I would like to forgive you.”
She said with a prayer.
“And I would like for you to forgive me.”
No force, pleading or compromises.
All you could do was hope.
“You…really are selfish.”
Canila chuckled tearfully.
“Yes. So you can accept it or refuse.”
“Yes. I know. And so please listen to my request.”
Canila stood up and faced her with a smile.
“Don’t ever forgive me. And allow me to forgive you.”
“What a…selfish person you are.”
“Both of us.”
Salia hugged Canila gently.
Betraying her friend, having her own will trampled on. The years of having to bear it.
All of the pain could be felt from the soul within that embrace.
