14 – Realizing Feelings
There was only sound.
The sound of the clock, the sound of the air condition…and the sound of the heart.
As if she had forgotten how to breathe. She was scared to speak or even move one finger. Iria stood there, stunned.
“What about you?”
…How should she answer that?
What did it even mean? What was love, anyway?
She did not know. And she had thought that she knew everything there was to know in this world.
“I just…he saved me… And so I want to repay the debt…”
“Really?”
Aize asked, and then Iria’s heart skipped a beat.
(Really…?)
Well, that was all that it was supposed to be.
She wanted to catch up with him. To repay him. That’s all…and so…
“It’s not fair, Iria.”
The words pierced Iria, and she felt as if her whole body had frozen into ice.
Aize put down her practice spear and took out a towel from her bag. Then she walked towards Iri.
The distance between them closed.
“There are a lot of things we don’t have answers for. But…it’s not the same with you.”
Aize faced Iria and pointed to her chest.
“…Iria, you are just running away.”
She said, and then walked past her.
(…Running away?)
…Are you in love?
Iria suddenly remembered the question that Sumia had asked her.
◆ ◇ ◆
“Ah, welcome back.”
After making her way to the elevator and returning to her own room, she saw her roommate, Fae, eating snacks while looking at her mobile phone.
Iria looked at Fae dumbly…and then remembered.
Something childish, that her classmates sometimes talked about. A rumor she never took seriously before.
“…Fae, are you close with Eugnor?”
“What!?”
Fae jumped up from her bed and glared at Iria.
“Um, it was a rumor…and you two do talk together a lot…”
“Well…I guess…we are friends?”
Fae answered safely as she scratched her cheek, which had turned a little red.
“Um, does that mean…you’re in love?”
Fae’s mouth fell open and she dropped the snack she was holding.
“…Wh…whaaat!? Wh-what’s this all of a sudden!?”
“…I just want to know…what it feels like…”
Up until now, she had had no interest in that.
Indeed, people had confessed and even proposed to her. But none of it felt like it had any value. Iria was too focused on becoming stronger.
But Yukito had called her sword beautiful.
And that had saved her. It made her feel that all of her hard work and effort had not been a waste.
“We-well…I suppose…it’s when…you catch yourself staring at them without meaning to…”
She did look at him a lot.
As if she could not take her eyes off of him.
“Even when you’re not doing anything, you…think about the other person. And remember different things and go…woah…”
Ah, that’s right.
She was always remembering things about him.
Every word he said to her. His expressions.
Troubled, angry, embarrassed, serious. Laughing. Always looking forward.
“It’s…um…you notice things without trying to… Ugh, this is embarrassing. Huh?”
Remember.
Remember.
Always.
“Uh, hey, Iria…!?”
A tear ran down her cheek.
“…Uh?”
Love. Love.
Ah, when put into words… How did she not realize it sooner?
She was afraid for so long.
The idea that one day, he would go far away from her.
His presence, his voice. It would fade away as if it were a dream.
And so she had to become stronger.
He had protected her heart, and so she wanted to be able to protect him as well.
Even if he was much stronger than her, he was always in danger.
That was why she didn’t admit it
…Her feelings…that there was actually such an intent hidden beneath.
To be by his side.
That was all she wanted.
(Ah… I see…)
Because she loved him.