Realized Feelings, Feelings Realized
When the sensation of our lips has become wholly clear, so has my consciousness. But hardly any time had passed. Almost none. A few seconds.
“Uh, no…this…well, I mean…”
Daniela’s face was like a boiling pot that was getting hotter by the second. I could see from the corner of my vision that her hand had been gripped into a tight fist.
“Le-let me explain!”
“Ve…very well. I will listen to what you have to say…”
I was somehow given an opportunity to explain, and so I took in a deep breath. I couldn’t even remember what the dream had been about. I just remembered that I was scared. Scared… I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like I was also not scared at the same time. I was just terribly confused. But what I felt right after waking up was something that I had honestly felt. What I truly thought. And I needed to explain it to Daniela.
“Recently, you have been helping me a lot. I don’t know if it’s something that you think about, but you have really helped me.”
“Now, I have started to feel that your presence near me as something very comforting. It’s become natural for me to think that you will always be with me. But I also know that I can’t take you for granted and rest on my laurels either. I try my best to do my part as well.”
“That is commendable…”
She was mostly silent but occasionally nodded and muttered. I thanked her for this and continued to lay my feelings bare.
“I have come to feel that you are not only comforting to have by my side, but also very precious.”
I see that her cheeks have become slightly flushed, and think ‘Ah, yes, that is how it is’ with realization once again. And so I continue. It wasn’t an explanation. It was a confession.
“Ah, at first I thought of you as a reliable comrade. But when we fought against Beowulf, and I saw that you cried for me, I realized that it was not enough for me to just rely on you. I wanted to push myself so that I could one day stand beside you. And as I pursued you in hopes of catching up, I started to really like you.”
“Asagi…is this true?”
“Yes, I’m not lying. This has been a long explanation, but to put it simply, I had a nightmare of a dream and when I frantically woke up, a face that I longed to see was in front of me. And I kissed you without thinking… I hope that you can somehow understand it.”
I told her what needed to be told. The timing was not ideal, there was no mood to help me here. But I felt like I had to say it now, or stay silent forever. Daniela slowly moved away from the bed. I looked at her without moving, waiting for a reply.
“I, could you…allow me to think about this a little?”
The answer was withheld. Well, it really was quite sudden… It was obvious.
“I understand. I’m sorry for springing this on you so suddenly.”
“Yes, I am sorry as well… It was unusual for you to stay in so late. I came to call you.”
I had stayed up very late last night…and there was drinking as well. Of course, I was not drunk at all now.
“I’m sorry. What will you do today? I had planned to visit the armor shop…”
“Aye, let us go. Meet me in front of the inn in an hour?”
“Okay, got it.”
I nod and get out of the bed. Daniela took one last look towards me before leaving the room. I listened to the door close before exhaling all the air within my body.
“Hhhhaaa…what am I going to do…If she says no…”
I crash back into the bed. I wasn’t sleepy at all, so there was no risk of falling back to sleep. If anything, I felt more alert than usual. I felt as if I could fight a thousand goblins without letting my guard down even once. But there was no use in regretting my actions now. For now, I just needed to get ready. I moved my heavy body back up and took out a change of clothes from my bag and headed for the baths. I didn’t meet anyone on the way there, probably because I had overslept. The bathing pool in the empty room seemed a lot bigger than usual.